So being stuck in doors the whole week due to my gang raping by the flu, I decided I had enough of this cabin fever and made a drastic decision to hit Tiger Tiger last night. I first went to good old Springboks for Jug night but it was a bit lame. So after a good half an hour or so we made our move to Tiger...the hairs at the back of my neck still stand up when I think about that place, I love it, 3 more visits and I can start moving my shit in there...great place to set up home! Anywho, it was me and all the beautiful ladies last night (going out with the crew on Saturday)...so I a lot of jealous looks from the creeps that hang in all the dark corners of Tiger and puff away on their cigerettes and sip there double cane and cream soda. I did indeed feel like the man last night and it got even better as the alcohol kept coming my way. For some strange reason we decided to make our local hangout spot (other than the dance floor) the shooter bar. My old headboy pouring us liquid cocaines and lesbian something or another and pink panties...I started questioning my sexuality drinking all this crap, I mean come on! give me a tequila or something with a manlier name like...I dont know...uuu a BALL BUSTER maybe. Im not being ungrateful (it was all free...benefits partying with the chicks, they dont want your money)...I had energy of note after all those bitch pops and the night was getting more awesome after every shot. I now see why girls go fucken ape shit after leaving the shooter bar, us guys all pull funny faces trying to be tough by slamming down an empty neat Jack Daniels shot glass, these girls are drinking colddrink and getting FARKED UP! I love it!
Okay so eventually leaving the shooter bar...I stumbled on the dance floor with my two drinks in my hand that I still had from the 2 for 1 special that ended at half past ten to the most appropriate song at that time..."my drink and my 2 step", I was jamming like a bergie on heat, spilling my drink everywhere, singing and screaming at the DJ (saying that he rocks). After about 40 minutes of displaying my awesomness on the dancefloor, the girls and I decided to chill and have a bit of a smoke break when out of the blue the DJ announces "we giving away free champaigne" in an instant I fought my way to the front of that dancefloor like a bat out of hell and I must of had an angel over me because the manager leant over and just gave me a bottle of South Africa's finest (JC Le Roux)...well maybe he gave it to me because the manager is my buddy, I played it cool though, like we didnt know eachother until I shot the cork over the dance floor and he was there with some glasses and we were pissing it up CLASSY in the club. Man, my first free bottle of booze in a club, thats a night to remember! Except for this morning when my alarm woke me up after 2 hours of sleep...I had the quite a bad hang over, not even my awesomeness could cure this one...
I decided to go to work (because thats the right thing to do) and plus its payday and we end at 3...WAAA hahaha...I love rubbing that in. So feeling like crap I sat at my desk and just facebooked and caught up on some old emails and out of nowhere my photographer pipes up with this joke...its a lot funnier with his hand jesters and facial expressions but I will give it a bash by writing it down. Enjoy...
A wrestler is about to face the world champion in a wrestling match. This champion has never been beaten because he has a move that noone can get out of called the human Pretzel. So anyway our wrestler's coach is giving him words of advice before the "showdown" and telling him that whatever he does he must just not get caught in the human pretzel...
So the fight starts and the two wrestlers are all over eachother and the champion is trying his hardest to get the human pretzel on our boy but its not working. The first round ends and the second one begins and our boy is doing well until the champion catches him in the human pretzel...our guy is twistered and tangled by his own body parts struggling with his life to get out but nothing is working...all of a sudden he bursts out of it and the champion goes flying and knocks himself unconcious making our boy the new champion. As he walks out the ring he gets interviewed: "How did you get out of the human pretzel grip? noone has ever done it before" to which our boy says..."I couldnt move anything until I completely relaxed and realised I could move my mouth, then I realised I could move index finger and as I looked up I saw these balls looking right at me, so I took my index finger and started playing with the balls until they swung in my mouth...Do you know how much strength you have after you bite your own balls...
I almost pissed in my pants laughing to that...I still giggle thinking about it. My hangover headache was cured instantly...so laughter is the best medicine for a hangover!
Have a great weekend ALL!
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aha!! do you know i recently learnt a cane and cream soda is called a john deer?? NEVER friggin seen that shite before till i got to the eastern cape... i see i was wrong hoping it was a "location location location" thing?? *sigh* the madness spreads.
oh wait... that wasn't the point was it??? ok i'll read the rest of the post now :)
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