Well hello there...welcome back, sorry I have taken so long to report to you about the world of Kev. But I have had one hell of a hectic 1 and a half weeks. I have figured out that my boss must be on the crack, he paid us late (as in a whole fucken week late)...clearly because he was supporting his crack habit and ran out of funds, thats why I got my pay cheque in three installments. I also began to realise that the crack he is on is toying with his brain because he wants me to get out two magazines by next Friday...is he fucken insane. Thats 1 week and a few days (long weekend coming up and I am not working)...This is not humanly possible to do with just me and my junior designer but we are going to have to work our magic or the crack whore will be released and my boss might go harder on the crack and only pay me 2 weeks into next month. Due to all this crap of late payments, I have had to deal with some interesting people to secure my awesome credit rating. I must say Standard Bank is really something else...really the fucken suck, big hairy sweaty balls. I hate them so much...I hope they all die a slow and painful death. For the last month I have been in and out that damn bank trying to sort out all sorts of shit and I now am beginning to realise that they must be dealing the crack to my boss because they just as idiotic. Discovery Health was fun to deal with as well...they will do anything to get every last fucken penny out of you and Im not even covered properly...Im with them for the gym contract just like three quarters of their members.
So all the stress of not having money really gave me brain freeze, I really couldnt think of anything to write. Luckily I got my first pay installment on the day my rent had to be paid...I was freaking out, I thought HOLY SHIT I havent even lived here for a month and Im going to be evicted...that would have been interesting, I havent even put my awesome fridge to good use (of stocking it completely full of alcohol) and I would have to get rid of it, so luckily that didnt happen. The next was my car...I would probably hang myself if my car got repossesed, I really dont see myself walking...anywhere. That got sorted today...hopefully, if the guy (who was clearly high on the same crack as my boss) put my force debit through, if not...bye bye awesome golfie...*tsk tsk*. So now that all the stress is sort of gone I thought I would vent to the masses...the whole 7 of you that read this awesome column. I love you guys...
Well on the bright side, we have a long weekend coming up...WOOHOO! All I want to remember on Tuesday is leaving work on Friday thats it. I am going to go all out...maybe if I party with some of you great followers of my great blog, I will get sympothy alcohol and get completely shitfaced for free...fark yeah! or I could be broke next week and lose some weight in the next few weeks due to lack of groceries. Actually I dont car what happens...I just need a big break from reality and thats exactly what my plan is for this weekend...Maybe a piss up at the party palace the one night and some Tigering on one of the other nights...maybe I will steal some of my boss' crack and sell it to support my filthy drinking habit for Sunday night...sounds like a plan, I wonder where he hides his stash.
So I guess Im sorry for taking so long to write my usual crap...I will try not to let it happen again...whateveR! Just log on and let me catch you by surprise...thats always fun.
So in the great words of Jay-Z....
Keep it real...PEACE!
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